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Jerry Renino was a friend of mine. I was lucky to know him, I think, during one of the most intense times of his entire life: the last two years before he died. He was one of the craziest people I knew-- as well as one of the most charismatic, exciting, charming, and sensitive. He was a very intense, very convicted, very dramatic man. He was brave, strong-willed, musically gifted, and brilliant. He was also very attractive-- and he never let you forget that. ;) Jerry made light of the most awful situations by joking and laughing. And there was a lot of joking and laughing in his life. I'll never forget his distinct nasally, adorable voice, as he made fun of the most awful circumstances, making everything seem alright again. He was a man who wore his heart on his sleeve. He never wanted anyone to know it, but of course, we all did. ;) To know Jerry was to know drama, heartache, conviction, struggle, perserverance, passion, and love. Jerry had seen a lot of hardship in his life. And yet, there was something about Jerry that was spritely and young, that made him seem like he would be young forever. Jerry sometimes had the innocence and joy of a playful child. And yet Jerry was forced to be very strong at a very young age. Jerry often put the needs of others before his own. As many described him, Jerry was "The Rock". But Jerry was also vulnerable. He didn't want anyone to know he was vulerable, but he was vulnerable. We are all vulnerable. It is what makes us human. But there comes a time in some people's lives where they can no longer see light on earth. When all those jokes can not take away the pain. And now Jerry is somewhere where there is light. He is an angel. Jerry did a lot for me in all his drama and intensity. I have been told by many people that I knew Jerry during the hardest time of his life. That Jerry used to be much different, and that I never really knew him when he was "himself". Maybe that's true on some level-- I knew a man who had a lot of pain. Who caused a lot of mischief, and had a lot of problems. I also knew a man who deeply wanted to be understood, who shared some of his deepest secrets with me. Who let me see his heart. I knew a man who showed me where he hurt. Who trusted me enough to cry to me. I knew a man who, despite all his struggles and pain, created something beautiful with his life. Who was often valiant, heroic, and beautiful. And I am amazed that if that was the "hardest" time of his life, he was still such an amazing person, that touched the lives of so many. I have no doubt the side of Jerry Renino that he let me see was the side I was meant to see. I also have no doubt he is still with us, and will wait for us where he is in heaven. I dream of Jerry often, and I still feel connected to him. I know we all have different religions, and some of you may not believe in God, and may not believe in souls. I can't tell you what to believe. But I know Jerry is still "with us", if we open our minds and hearts to him. And I think you all can feel more close to him, and more at peace with his death, if you can accept that he can still reach us on another level now.
I have a lot of strange, crazy, lovely, funny stories about Jerry. I would like to share some of the things I want to remember about him, and the few photos I took of him before he died.
I was just recently sent this photo by a close mutual friend of Jerry's and mine. It was taken in November of 2005, at the Boxcar in Southport before it was closed down. Jerry looks particularly sweet and angelic. It's actually my favorite photo of him I think. He really looks like an angel.
This photo was taken at Foxwoods, in April 2006. When this photo was taken, Jerry was absolutely exuberant. It was one of those first great days of spring where everyone is happy and excited for no particular reason. I had arrived late for this concert, practically missing the concert itself, so pretty much everything that happened at this "concert" had nothing to do with the concert. Instead, we ran around the casino all night and had a great time. This night he and the rest of Micky's band were incredibly fun, entertaining, and sweet to me. I don't remember who's idea it was to take this photo, but Jerry was really so excited and happy to have it taken. He always wanted photos of us taken. I wish I took more of him.
This was taken during another concert, in Bridgeport, CT where Jerry lived. It was one of the first times I really saw and got to know Jerry. I didn't really know who he was then, but he apparently knew who I was and let me know it. ;) I'm making a face because Jerry was teasing me. Jerry always gave me lots of attention and made me feel pretty special. But that's not the only reason I liked him. He filled a lot of emptyness with warmth and charm and humor and Jerryness. :) I have to say, I must REALLY LOVE JERRY to draw attention to these unflattering, unnattractive photos of myself. LOL.
This is a photo from the same night. Jerry, Micky, and Sandy. Loafy and George were also there, but not shown in this photo. Unfortunately, I didn't get a lot of good photos of Jerry alone on stage. But a lot of my interaction with Jerry was with Micky's band, as one. Jerry, Sandy, Micky, George, and Loafy were like a family to me. They were like brothers. Being around them was like watching a fascinating show, all of them talented, charismatic, funny, charming, and with their own personality. And all of them inviting and caring to me. They are very sweet people.
This is Jerry and Dave, Peter Noone's drummer, at the beginning of a trip. Before we begin Dave took us all for coffee at Starbucks. I caught them both off gaurd with this photo-- seriously, I promise we were all smiling the rest of the time. ;) I felt shy about photographing them so I didn't really ask them to pose. But they both made my day that day, I still remember jokes they made... Oh, they were funny, funny men. I love musicians.
This is Jerry driving that same day. I wanted to make sure I got a good picture of him after the last one. This is what I got. It says a lot about him at the time. He was smiling and open, but at the same time holding back something. At the time he was teasing me and Dave [because at the time we all really had to go to the bathroom, but we couldn't stop, and were running late, and in the middle of farm country, etc. -- it's a long, rediculous story, but it was really funny at time]. He and Dave were making me laugh so much. But when you see Jerry here, you can really see his sensitivity, not the brashness he often displayed. He could be shy at moments.
This is the last photo I took of Jerry, at a Peter Noone concert at the Mohegan Sun. That moment in time was a very pivotal point for many things... His eyes closed, standing on stage, that's how I remember him. The last I saw him, he hugged me and held me and cried on my shoulder. I wish I could have told him more how much I cared about him. But I like to and do believe that where he is now he can hear and see all of us, and knows exactly what the truth is and knows how much I love him.
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