1.) There are permenant lip gloss smudges on the TV set where the Monkees faces would be.
2.) You find yourself staring at the TV screen, even when it is off, saying "Need... Need... Want... Want... "
3.) You see mirages of Michael Nesmith's face out of the corner of your eye, from random things around the room.
4.) You find yourself rearranging the letters in titles, posters, advertisements, and any words around you, to say Monkee related things.
5.) You wear a green wool hat with a pom-pom. In July.
6.) You have memorized all 24 of the permutations of rearranging the Monkees names. Ex: Michael, Micky, Peter, and Davy. Micky, Michael, Davy, Peter. Davy, Michael, Micky, Peter. Michael, Micky, Davy, Peter...
7.) You have a framed piece of grass on your wall, which it is rumored that Peter Tork stepped on.
8.) You use Clarksville as a mailing address.
9.) You have quarters and dimes taped to your shoe, and other places, with the words "$ $ Mad Money $ $" written on the tape.
10.) You refer to the "20's" and "30's" meaning the time period when the Monkees were making episode numbers in the twenties and thirties.
11.) You sleep with album covers.
12.) You talk to recordings and episodes of the Monkees as if they'll talk back.
13.) You have memorized the whole Italian theme to the Monkees, "Tema Dei Monkees".
14.) You try to have full conversations using only Monkees quotes from episodes, interviews, and the movie HEAD.
15.) You have orgasms when you watch the "Daydream Believer" music video. [Apparently people don't find this funny... People who don't get any anyway ;) I made this list when I was a naive teenager, what can I say.]
16.) You have orgasms when you hear Michael's voice make that "airplane" sound at the end of his song "Tapioca Tundra".
17.) You have orgasms when in the presense of anything associated with a Monkee in any way.
18.) You find yourself faint, confused, and disoriented when people around you refer to the Monkees, or anything related to the Monkees, in any way.
19.) There are times upon when hearing a Monkees song on the radio, your own stereo or discman, or watching the Monkees on TV, you find yourself unable to stand/sit, getting down on your knees, or stomach, and calling out, "Take me! Take me! Take me now!"
Yeah, alright, that's weird...
20.) You own a Moog Synthesizer.
21.) You've been kissed by a Monkee. *VVVVVEEEEEEEEGGGGGG*
22.) When people ask your sexual orientation, you explain yourself as "Monkee-sexual".
23.) You get upset when people talk about Dow Jones, and not Davy Jones.
24.) You like, and see nothing wrong with, the song "The Day We Fall in Love".
25.) You often hear this as: "... Here we cummmm..."
26.) You buy records for a record player you don't have.
27.) You insist to people you don't even know that you were born on a Saturday.
28.) Every so often you turn the color off on your TV set so you can watch things in "Shades of Gray".
29.) You're beginning to *like* midi files of the Monkees that you hear online. [And I am so, so sorry for you.]
30.) You're "Gonna Buy Yourself a Dog".
31.) You "Wanna Be Free".
32.) You sing and dance out loud in the library to "I'll Get Back Upon My Feet".
33.) You howl at eagles. They wink at you.
34.) You pet telephones, saying "goooodddd kitty...".
35.) You were frogman for Halloween!!! [sleepy jean laughs...*g*].
36.) You answer to Mary, Mary.
37.) You will only call your relatives Uncle Racoon and Auntie Grizelda.
38.) You have talked with your aunt about getting a Municipal Court.
39.) You specialize in Root Beer Soup.
40.) You have their manager's phone number.
41.) "You're a fink, a funk, and a pony!"
42.) You have learned 12% of your vocabulary from the Monkees.
43.) The other 88% you got to Michael and his solo albums.
44.) You were able to study for the SATs using these solo albums.
45.) You find this list Hard to Believe.
46.) You've formed a support group in your area to have people become "better aware" of the truth behind the Monkees, and who they really are, and getting that God forsaken lie about the Monkees not playing their own instruments cleared up, in which you play non-stop Monkees music, discuss episodes and their deeper, metaphorical and possible prophetic meanings, and dress like and quote the Monkees.
47.) You open spam in your e-mail account when the sender's names are Micky, Michael, Peter, or Davy, even though you know it's spam.
48.) You counted the amount of ridges on each track of your Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn, and Jones, LTD LP, and use these numbers as passwords to bank accounts, e-mail accounts, access into Michael Nesmith's personal security information, etc.
49.) You consider the only "real living" wearing a red double buttoned shirt, heather-gray bell bottoms, black Italian leather boots, and a guitar on your back, and anything else is an abberation from your "true cause".
50.) You like to believe Michael Nesmith's mother's invention of creamy Liquid Paper might be *more* a part of Mike than otherwise known *ahem*. And knowing Michael, it's probably true... *VEG*
51.) You are certain that the car "Toyota Tundra" was named after Mike's song "Tapioca Tundra" [it was], because Toyota deeply respects and worships Michael Nesmith, and are a part of his secret cult.
52.) You feel the same way about the "Cabrio" being named after Michael's song "Rio".
53.) You bought the Toyota Tundra. [So help you].
54.) You use spray-on beard product, wear a cowboy hat, and answer to the name of "Mike" or "Nez".
55.) You know why Michael Nesmith likes airplanes.
56.) You applied to work at Videoranch ["Hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time!!!"].
57.) You surround yourself in objects, decor, and clothes entirely from the 60's, and keep telling yourself that if you do this it will actually through some act of God become the 60's.
58.) You bought an old transistor radio from 1967, and listen to it fervently, believing you will somehow receive radio waves from 1967.
59.) You consider the word "Yankees" really "Monkees" misspelled, and find youself crossing out the "Ya" in "Yankees" and writing in "Mo" in place of it to spell the word "Monkees" correctly.
60.) You consider all words similiar to Monkee-related words, but not, misspelled, and try to change them.
61.) You give up and just end up writing "Monkees" on everything around you.
62.) You were voted, "Most likely to marry a Monkee" [watch me do this...].
63.) You make obsessive Monkees web sites, including an "Are You Obsessed?" page.
64.) When something Monkees-related is on TV, or in your area, up to 20 people call you to tell you about it, some who you barely know.
65.) You moan desparately when ever you hear the Beatles sing "When I'm 64", because the Monkees soon will be 64.*
66.) You moan desparately when ever anyone around you talks about anything negative having to do with aging in any way.
67.) You find yourself trying to explain to random people around you, who don't even ask you about this, how age makes no difference in your relationships with anyone, how open minded you are to older people, and that being over 60 years old is really not very old at all.
68.) You are definately that "Girl They Knew Somewhere"
69.) Roshach inkblot tests given to you by a psychologist your friends sent you to all reveal the same thing: the Monkees guitar logo.
70.) You associate the number 70 with only one thing: the year 1970, when the Monkees made their last official album, Changes, before Davy left.
71.) You're reading this list.