Another email forward... this one is so good.
Allegedly these warning labels were really on these
products.
It's hard to believe some of these are real.
Then again... it's not.
We recently bought frozen creme brullees, to broil
yourself. The directions on the package actually said: 1.) Remove box from freezer...
Um, yes?
Italicized text c'est moi.
On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
How many people tried to use this while sleeping???
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestions: Defrost.
It's *just* a suggestion.
Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down.
On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
Really now?
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
I love this one!!!!!!!!!
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On most brands of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
This "other" use I need to know about.
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On a Swedish chain saw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On a toboggan:
Beware: Sled may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.
On a knife sharpener:
Caution: knives are sharp.
OMG
On shin pads for cyclists:
Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.
Yet, I know people who would need this to be said to them...
On a take away coffee cup:
Caution: Hot beverages are hot.
OMG
Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.
In a microwave oven manual:
Do not use for drying pets.
On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft:
Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.
On the bottom of a cola bottle:
Do not open here.
On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
This broom does not actually fly.
On a box of aspirin:
Do not take if allergic to aspirin.
On a bottle of laundry detergent:
Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.
On a muffin packet:
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
In a kettle instruction manual:
The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON' position.
My mom once had to be told something similar about our TV remote control.
On a ketchup bottle:
Instructions: Put on food.
On a bottle of rum:
Open bottle before drinking.
How drunk would you have to be for this label to be necessary?
A car park sign:
Entrance only. Do not enter.
Sounds like an existentialist novel.
A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
Beware of people.
Rules on a tram in Prague:
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.
Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
Take care: new non-slip surface.
On a can of air freshener:
For use by trained personnel only.
On a bottle of baby lotion:
Keep away from children.
On a pair of socks bought in egypt:
Do not wash.
On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
Some assembly required.
Oh, tell me it didn't say this...
On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
May irritate eyes.
On a Frisbee:
Warning: may contain small parts.
In a car handbook:
In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors.
On a packet of cashew nut pieces:
Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.
On a birthday card for a one year old:
Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.
In a hotel bedroom:
Please do not turn on TV except when in use.
In an elevator in a Japanese hotel:
Push this button in case anything happens.
On a toilet cleaning brush:
Do not use orally.
On a can of Spray paint:
Do not spray in your face.
On a TV remote:
Not Dishwasher safe.
On a blowtorch:
Not used for drying hair.
On a washing machine in a launderette:
No small children.
On a bottle of hair dye:
Do not use as Ice Cream topping.
On a push along lawn mower:
Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.
On a box of fireworks:
Do not put in mouth.
On the packaging for a wrist watch:
Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.
What lawsuit forced
this warning to be made...?
In a dishwasher manual:
Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.
On a toaster:
Do not use underwater.
On a mattress:
Do not attempt to swallow.
There is no try. Do or do not.
On a box of raisins [from Lynsey]:
Ingrediants: raisins.
On the label on a small bag containing a window curtain [from me]:
Lamp in photo not included.
