Since a lot of you knew Jerry from shows and on the road, and had the opportunity to learn what a fun, crazy, charismatic man he was, but may not have had the opportunity to spend more time with Jerry and to get to know him as a friend, I wanted to share some stories about what Jerry was like when I knew him, that reflect Jerry's character. I want to share stories that are detailed enough to show you what Jerry was like, but I don't want to share anything too personal, so please understand the balance I want to achieve when reading these.

Some of my favorite memories of Jerry are very simple. But it doesn't matter the technicality of the interaction, as much as what it means. The things I miss most about Jerry are those simple things, like how I can't just call him on my cell phone. Or see him at concerts. Or rive up to his house and drink all that terrible Miller Light. ;) Or how he was going to take me to a football game last fall, but couldn't because he got this job on the road. I was never into football, but I was really excited to have Jerry get me into it, or anything else he loved, because it was different and knew. I loved that Jerry could show me completely different things and give me completely different viewpoints, as he would being many things I'm not: older, a musician, a man of all things. I always kept thinking I'm going to go to that football game with Jerry. We had all these funny little plans like that, which unfortunately never happened. I still keep thinking they will happen, for some reason. Part of me will never believe Jerry is gone. And I know, part of Jerry never WILL be gone.

The "El Dorado" Diner

One of my favorite memories of Jerry was just us text messaging each other back and forth one morning. Silly? Perhaps. But it made me happy. At the time I worked at a job I hated, with a boss I hated. My boss had a habit of harassing me, so any excuse I had to leave my job was pounced on. It happened to be that that morning I had to take a printer from work to a repair store in the Hartsdale area of New York. I don't think I knew it at the time, but it was near where Jerry grew up, and I kept thinking of him when I was around there. It was one of the first really nice days in spring, and I was thrilled to be driving around with the windows open. You know those days when it's one of the FIRST nice days of spring, and you feel that everything has a certain magical energy to it? It was just that day. It was so sunny and warm out and I felt so alive and high. Everything seemed amazingly beautiful then. I camera-phoned a lot of pictures along the way.

Since it would take a long time for the printer to be fixed, the repair man said to go somewhere and come back. I decided to drive to a nearby diner, where I decided to eat breakfast and text message Jerry the whole time. I wished he was there with me then, so I started texting him all through breakfast there. I remember I had dreamt of him the night before and told him so. It was a really funny dream, I don't remember what it was exactly, but he wrote back with this HILARIOUS response. I asked him to help me decide what to order, and we both agreed it was hard to choose between the eggs or pancakes, but I couldn't order both because it was too much to eat. I told him he should have been there with me to split it, and he agreed, and we both decided we had to go out to breakfast soon to order eggs and pancakes together. We texted about some other stuff. I felt he was right there with me the whole time, even though he was not. It's truly hard to explain why, but that day felt closer to Jerry then than a lot of times when I was actually with him. I just felt so connected to him. Perhaps because we both shared this vision of what was comfortable and enjoyable to each other.

Ever since that day I always thought about Jerry and I making it back to that diner, or any diner, to have eggs and pancakes togetherr, and to gossip about the drama going on with everyone.

But we never did. I still feel like we will though.

White Knight On His Motorcycle

I believe it was shortly after the time I was text-messaging Jerry at the diner when I offered to let him come visit me at my job. And it was quite an interesting visit when he did. It was late spring or early summer, and the weather was perfect once again. Jerry decided to drive down on his motorcycle from Bridgeport to where I worked in Greenwich.

I had already told Jerry that I felt my boss was harassing me, but that I didn't know what to do about it. Jerry was one of the only people I knew who really understood what I was going through. Not only did he talk to me about it, sympathize, and relate to it, he agreed to come in so he could help assess the situation. There was really no plan, he wasn't going to "do" anything, but since he wanted to visit me anyway, he said he would let me know if he saw what I was talking about and could help me deal with it.

Well, he came down alright. And, actually, it was sort of a surprise the day he did. And believe me, Jerry struting into that office with his aviator sunglasses on, and his whole motorcyle outfit was quite impressive. He has that swagger about him. Jerry was quite bold and brave when he wanted to be. And he was very chivalrous and protective of me. He agreed with me that my boss was mistreating me, and made my boss very uncomfortable. He talked down to him him, and told him in so many ways "not to mess with me". He overall embarrassed my boss for treating me as he was. It was classic. My boss was really shooken up after that.

Later Jerry called me and we laughed about it, and gave me advice on what I should do to deal with the situation. He kept reassuring me it wasn't my fault, and that I wasn't crazy for feeling upset. He helped me realize what was going on, and to separate myself from the situation so I could leave. This is what I mean by Jerry being chivalrous. He knows what it means to be abused by others, and he wanted to help protect me and not see me hurt.

First Day At Jerry's

The first time I ever went to visit Jerry was very sweet. Jerry and I had a very funny introduction to each other, and didn't get to know each other for a long time. When we finally got to know each other it was very endearing. Jerry invited me over for dinner one day after work. He left me a longggggggg voice message on my phone before I came, describing EVERYTHING he had planned for dinner and that evening in great detail, and asking if everything he had planned was to my liking. He sounded like a kid in a candy store, and he wanted everything perfect for me. I told him I was working late that night unfortunately, I would try to get there as soon as I could but I may not make it in time for dinner. I did make it there really late, but it was okay. When I did arrive, Jerry hugged me and kissed me and immediately poured ourselves wine. Then he brought me over to the dinning room. There was all this dinner waiting for me, and he was ready to serve it. He was so full of energy. We talked a lot all night, and he brought out all these books he wanted to show me. Part of Jerry's love for me was for something specific we shared in common. He wanted to help me, and he had all these books on the subject. In so many ways, I believe he looked at me as a kind of kindred spirit for this reason.

Lemon Meringue

I don't remember if it was that night or another night that summer, when I decided it would be great if Jerry and I made Lemon Meringue pie. My mom had made a lot of it for me that summer, and I loved it. I thought it was the perfect summer dessert, and pretty easy to make [or so I niavely thought]. So one night, I brought a box of mix over to Jerry's house when I went to see him.

Well, we were drinking, and it was pretty late before I remembered I wanted to make that stuff with him... And keep in mind, we weren't just drinking, but involved in one of our intense conversations. Really intense. Seriously, we really could talk all night, and we got very heated, because we were both so opinionated... I don't remember what we were talking about, but we were quite distracted. But I thought this would be fun. So I convinced him to try and do it. I don't remember if we were lacking ingrediants, or utensils, or what, but whatever we were doing, it wasn't according to the box's directions.

We ended up with two vats of stuff meant to be the lemon and the meringue. The lemon part was supposed to be gel-like and to solidify, and the meringue was supposed to be whipped and fluffy. Both were presently liquid. Well, more alcohal was poured, and Jerry came up with some ingenious ideas to try to save this. He started adding stuff to these products, and like flour and I don't know what else, to try and thicken it. I think he even tried the stove-top, but this was not supposed to be cooked at all. Later, I found out from my mom, the problem with at least the meringue not thickening was actually because the egg-whites are not supposed to be contaminated by anything. So, this was getting kind of weird.

Eventually we just poured it in the pie crust and tried to let it set. I was seriously scared of this concoction, but trying hard not to admit it. I don't remember if it ever "set" or what really, it was probably as solidified as it could get, and there was no meringue, it was just kind of another layer of stuff. Jerry decided to cut us slices, and we tried to eat it. I probably swallowed at least one slice before I feigned being too full to eat from the alcohal. But not Jerry. He loved it! He kept eating it, and was very proud of our recipe. I'm not sure if he really liked it or simply liked that we made it... But he ate it out of the pie plate. He kept offering me more, but I said he was free to have it. I remember at that time thinking he would eat anything. Later I learned he was quite a cook, and worked in an Italian restaurant. I never quite knew what to make of the pie thing. But it always makes me smile. :)

The Man I Knew

It was Labor Day weekend when I took Jerry up on an offer to come with him to a Peter Noone concert and sell merchandice. This day turned out to be one of the most frustrating, painful days, for a number of reasons, and I actually was kind of annoyed at Jerry at the time after it. He wasn't the only one, in fact, I was far more annoyed at certain other people that day who shall remain, thankfully for them, nameless... Fortunately, I never let Jerry know at the time he bothered me, and I'm glad I didn't-- because I don't think he would have understood or took it well. But most of all, I came to an understanding of it later which made me realize I need not be the one who was annoyed... Sometimes people we love do anger us. And Jerry did anger me that day, and despite that, I loved him. And shortly afterwards, I did cool down and get over it. And, of course, now I am not angry at all. I look back on all those things and laugh. Because, as well, it was also one of the best days I spent with Jerry for a number of reasons. It was the good, the bad, and the ugly.

And I do look back and laugh a lot. But I'm only going to tell, like, half of this story. Those who know the other half can fill it in themselves.

The thing about Jerry is, as a good friend of mine and Jerry's recently told me... He could do the most insane things, but people, despite that, unabashedly loved him. He just did so many amazing things as well.

At the time, there was a lot of drama in my life as well, so I wasn't the least bit relaxed to begin with. This is partially why there was tension in general, because you will find... There was drama in everyone's life who was involved in these situations. So, yeah. Jerry invited me to spend the end of Labor Day weekend with him in upper state Connecticut at the Peter Noone show, and I was looking forward to this. At the beginning of the weekend, I went home from work as a storm was brewing, feeling pretty excited about getting stuff done and enjoying the weekend. Well, that storm turned out to be a hurricane, and shortly after I arrived home, our electricity was out. It was out for a long time. A long, long time. Most of the weekend... And I was not happy. There was a lot I wanted to get done at home, and part of the reason I was going up with Jerry was that gas prices were so high back then, and I was so broke, we were going to carpool. So, I couldn't exactly drive away...

By the time the end of the weekend came, the electricity I think came back on that morning... I got up early, because Jerry said he *had* to leave early for this event, and if I couldn't make it to his house by a certain time, he would have to leave without me for the sake of the show, nothing personal. I understood, but for this reason, I was *certain* I was going to wake up early and get to his place on time. And keep in mind I don't like waking up early in the morning...

So I woke up early and began on my drive to Jerry's. I was calling him on my phone, because I was afraid I could be a few minutes late. No answer. I was thinking, God, maybe he left without me. Kept calling. Still no answer. I told myself I wasn't turning back now. I got all the way to his place, saw his car in the driveway, and went to the door. I got there at exactly the time Jerry said we had to leave by. He answered with like a towel wrapped around him or something, all casual, just rolled out of bed. "Oh hi..." he said yawning. I told him I kept calling him and was afraid he left. "Oh yeah. I think I was still sleeping." "I'm ready to go!" I told him. He said, "Oh, okay. Well, you know I just got up, I'm going to take a shower... Make some coffee..." Huh. So that time to leave thing was exaggerated...

We eventually get on the road, in Jerry's little Honda Civic, which was getting so old he claimed he could have the insurance and license plate changed so it was considered one of those "classic cars" you see on the roads. We drive all the way up to Hartford or so, or Windsor Locks, which is where Dave was staying... That was really cute.

I happen to like Windsor Locks a lot. It's near the airport. Spent a lot of time there at that time for other reasons... Dave was funny. From the moment Jerry and Dave united at the hotel, I was truly entertained. This is why I love musicians. Talented and charismatic. They started by trying to get me to eat all the free continental breakfast and condiments provided by the hotel in the lobby. And Jerry started acting like he and I were staying at the hotel, to "outsmart" hotel service, which was so hysterical because he had no idea if he just shut up and we took the coffee no one would notice or care, because Dave was staying there. But Jerry was all like, yelling, to me, "Did you REMEMBER your BLOW DRYER in the HOTEL ROOM we were STAYING IN THIS MORNING??!!! You know how you ALWAYS FORGET IT." And I was like, "What hair dryer? Oh. Yes, my hair dryer...!!!! Yeah. Yeah. I got it." OMG, if he was ever an actor.

So we got in the car, and Dave very politely gave me the front seat after Jerry made this long speech to me about how regrettably Dave was going to take it. It was cute. And Dave took us out to Starbucks, which is where that one photo was taken. Yeah, they WERE happier than they look in that photo, although probably half asleep. That photo caught them off gaurd. Seriously. ;) So, we got coffee, and that's enough to make me happy, right? And then we get on the road, the true story telling begins.

"This car ride is going to be the best time of today." Jerry said. I didn't believe him at the time,.. But he was absolutely right. Dave and Jerry completely entertained me by just being themselves. I have no idea if they were being purposely funny for me, or if they were always like that, but I loved them. They talked about all this fascinating stuff, and made all these jokes about everything. I couldn't stop laughing. Of course, halfway along the way, we all really had to go to the bathroom because of the coffee, but Jerry was convinced we were almost there, so we didn't stop. We weren't, really "almost" there, but we had no way of knowing this. But as we got closer, it didn't seem to matter.

Then, right outside the area we were supposed to be, just five miles from where the fair was, all the traffic was stopped. Now, this may seem trivial to you, but I had to go to the bathroom really badly... And we weren't going to move for a long time. This resulted in endless jokes of course... And I actually ran out of the car at least twice to go to nearby stores, without luck. Apparently I had to be in their car when we entered the fair, however, in order to be able to be where the musicians were or something, so I couldn't walk ahead. So, they had this emergancy action plan for me to burst out of the car as soon as we entered... It was funny.

But then we entered the fair. And I took to my stand to sell merchandice, as I promised I would. And a lot of drama ensued, not necessarily having anything to do with me, which I won't get into. But it ended up being a miserable day for a lot of people, including me and Jerry. And when we left, I was overworked, harassed, sunburned, hungry, and unhappy. And Jerry knew this. This is why I said I was annoyed with him. But it's okay now.

We drove Dave back and talked about a lot of stuff along the way, and it was the first time I think I ever really experienced how stressful much of Jerry's job was. But after we dropped Dave off, Jerry wanted to make it up to me. I think he realized how upset I was, even though I wouldn't tell him. He drove me into Hartford, or New Haven, I can't remember. Into a distinctly Italian section he said he knew very well because of a previous relationship with someone. And he took me to a really nice Italian restaurant.

In there, we relaxed finally, talk, drank, and ate good food. I calmed down a lot... It was a very nice place. It was a totally old world place, not too fancy, but with traditional, fine Italian cuisine. I think Jerry even spoke Italian when he ordered the food. He was very much at home then. And he was trying to make me feel a lot better. And, he did. I was just so worn out from that day.

There lots of gossip happened, of course... If you knew Jerry, I have probably heard all your deepest, darkest secrets. No, I'm kidding. ;) Seriously kidding. But Jerry was always so animated around me, always telling me stories and having intense conversations.

After we left the restaurant, we went to get gas for his car. He went out and pumped it, and went to pay for it, and I waited in the car. When he came back he apologized to me. "I'm sorry." he said, "I should have locked the doors when I went into pay. I know this isn't the safest neighborhood. It's been a while since I've been on a date and I forget about things like this." It was kind of embarrassing because he weren't dating as far as I was concerned... But I told you, he wore his heart on his sleeve. ;) I always thought that was kind of cute.

Jerry Saving The Day

This last story... Is complicated. It relates to a night of a lot of drama and secrets, and I don't want to hurt or disrespect anyone involved. But I do want to share a story about Jerry. So, how shall I begin...

On this night, we were at a concert. Another musician had shown up, who will also remain nameless. But I, and certainly most other people, did not know he was going to show up, so it was a total surprise to me. Well, this musician and I had a kind of "past", and because of this, he felt the need to harass me. He really hurt me and insulted me, and even tried to tell security guards I wasn't supposed to be there, even though I was selling merchandice. Among other things, this musician, who shall remain nameless, told me that he didn't believe I was wanted there and that none of the band knew me or liked me, etc, which included Jerry. I felt completely rejected and I was so angry.

Well, I don't know how much of this conversation Jerry knew, but he saw me eventually fighting and being harassed by this man. And he came over... And began doing what he does. It had been a stressful day for everyone. I had already witnessed Jerry going through so much stress himself earlier. He was drinking by then, and trying to relax himself, getting really... into his essense. But Jerry wasn't just concerned for his own stress, he was concerned for mine as well. He threw his arms around me and hugged and held me in front of his other musician. He doted on me. The other musician was shocked. Jerry made it very clear how wanted I was there. He began throwing me in the air and carrying me around... Everyone was watching, and although it was kind of embarrassing to have the attention drawn to me, it was so great to have him do that. I think a lot of people were really confused. But it was funny. Jerry had energy about him. And God, I can't believe how strong he was. I don't know if he ever knew it, but that was one of the greatest thing he ever did for me. I know it sounds superficial and silly, but he made me feel so wanted when he knew someone else was trying to make me feel so unwanted. And that takes a real man. At that moment, Jerry was my hero.